I was working in the emergency room, taking care of a feisty 90-year-old woman who came in by wheelchair. Her right leg was swelling, and we found a deformity on her femur. She denied any pain. An x-ray revealed a fractured femur, and we called the orthopedist. It turned out to be a long wait, and I heard "nurse, come in here." The woman asked me to help her up into her wheelchair. I explained that her leg was broken and she needed to stay in bed. She wouldn't take it. She said that only one of her legs was broken, she could still scoot around in her chair, and wanted me to get her out of that bed immediately!
What funny things have patients said to you?